Just Back Today?

Yeah, I was coming [to the gym] everyday, took a week off and I'm back today.

 

No, he said, are you just doing back today?  Is that all you're lifting?

 

Oh.  Ummm, yeah, I think that's all we're lifting.  Shows my knowledge of weight-lifting lingo.

Word of the Week

Obstitesticles

Haters, players, bitches and any other person, place, thing, ideas or even rules that keep a mofo from getting off.

 

Use in a sentence:

 

A slut wil be a slut regardless of any obstitesticles that stand in his way. 

Obstitesticles

And The Crowd Goes Wild!

Or not.

 

I think golf fans have to be one of the quietest hardcore fans out there.  I'm not knocking golf.  I've played a full round of 18 hole golf before.  Nevermind the fact that it was a way to get out of work for the day, drink beer and hang out with friends; and disregard the fact that said friends and I drove that golf cart on to surfaces it was never made for.  I had a blast playing golf and I would do it again... someday.

But seriously, do we need to plague Sunday TV lineups with golf broadcasts?  Even the commentators whisper when commentating, and the golfers can't even hear them!  Hell, when I hear a golf on the TV I almost feel as though I have to leave the room just flatulate.  Almost.

 

I'm no sportsfan.  There isn't a single sport out there that I yearn to watch when it is in season, so maybe I'm not one to really judge, but you know I will anyway.  I suggest that we do away with golf on basic cable.  They have their own damn channel, is that not enough?  I'm watching AFN (Armed Forces Network) out here and I'm still subjected to the mundaneness (is that even a word?) of golf.

I can deal with the ESPN SportsCenter highlights.  They are actually interesting, but can I get some FoxNews or something?

 

GOLF=DULL

Some People Don't Get It

*Vulgar words might be used in this blog*

 

HOLYFREAKINGMARYMOTHEROFSWEETLORDBABYJESUSEIGHTPOUNDSSIXOUNCES!!!

 

Will someone please save me?  I'm sitting in my office with my Commander who will not shut up.  Now, I'm not talking about incessant chatter out loud.  No, this guy is seriously trying to hold a conversation with me.  Actually, that would be a misstatement.  Holding a conversation would actually entail two people to go back and forward, both speaking. 

 

But no, I was trying to do some work and this guy just starts talking to me.  Not giving me orders or telling me something I needed to make sure got done.  No, he was starting to tell me a story… out of the blue… with every freakin' detail, down to how much he paid for each taxi ride.  Don't think I was intentionally listen.  I have this uncanny ability to multi-task (read: I'm rewatching Heroes Season 1 right now).  Anyhow, he keeps talking and talking and talking and talking… and the entire time I'm staring at my computer, writing this blog, checking my stocks, reading emails, etc, without even taking the time to so much as look in his direction.  In my peripherals I can see that he is intently staring in my direction, still talking, and yet he doesn't have the slightest inclination that I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT CARE.

 

Everybody knows someone like this, so don't act like you don't.  What is it with these people… these yappers?  There is more than one in my unit and boy is it… annoying, to say the least!  Is there a function in their brain that doesn't allow them to see anything else around them?  Can yappers not recognize when no one is listening?  What's even worse is that these yappers will continue to talk when others are holding a conversation around them.  Or, as happened to me 3 weeks back, walking past a yapper somehow gave him the notion that I was ready to talk about UFC.  WTH?!  Ok, I'm getting mad.  I'm leaving.

Test 1, 2, 3...

Is this thing on?