Reflecting Reflections...

I'm stressing pretty hard right now so I've decided to blog a little bit. There have been a few blogs stirring in my head that I have yet to make time for. Better now, especially to keep distract my thoughts.

I refer to the 1998 Disney movie, Mulan and its hit song Reflections.

- Christina Aguilera Lyrics..

I remember when I first heard this song and how I related to it. I was 16 years old and at a point in my adolescense that I realized I was gay, but had yet to really accept and encompass what all of that entailed. If you really listen to the lyrics, I think most people can relate to it with whatever they are going through in life when they are trying to progress as a person.

At the time, I treated the songs lyrics and message almost literally. But that is no longer the issue. I guess in a way I have matured since then and it only occurred to me two days ago.

I happened to be doing something in front of my dresser mirror and took a look up at myself in mirror. I didn't like what I saw. From the weight, neglected eyebrows, needing a haircut, stress blemishes, etc, I didn't like what I saw -- in general. And for about 20 seconds I ALMOST started to see how people can spiral into a depressed state. For a moment I almost hated what I saw in the mirror. And then it passed.

I am a happy person. I have a great life. I (like to think) that I treat people the same way I would like to be treated. I think I am doing great things in life -- actually, I KNOW I am doing great things in life because when people see me in uniform or find out what I do for a living, there are still those out there who find it in their hearts to thank me. I am perfectly happy where I am in life. I, I, I, I. You see how all of those sentences started?

By all means, I could be in better shape, I could do my eyebrows (note to self, go get them waxed this weekend LOL) and a plethora of other things that I can do to better my physical aspect. I'm not here to make excuses about that right now.

What I'm saying is that all that mirror did was reflect a physical image back to me. The mirror could very well be another person and how my image reflects to them, but what it doesn't do is give insight as to the person I am. And with that realization, I smiled and continued on with my day a much happier person!

I think my epiphany was monumental and I wish I could get as many people to understand this as possible. But I will have to settle for this blog for now.

That is all for now. I'm much happier having posted this too